 PUBLISHED: https://thriveglobal.com/stories/self-love-is-not-selfish/ By: Sue Sexton, MA Licensed Psychologist
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball If I could count on my hands how many times I was directly and indirectly called “selfish” for taking care of my needs first while growing up, I’d likely look akin to a group of jelly fish with tentacles all in motion in the great wide ocean! We live in a society and culture that values women’s care-taking abilities. It has created a pattern of co-dependency and enmeshment that is making us exhausted (a whole new level of tired), resentful, and feeling stuck in our lives. When our focus is constantly on how to meet everyone else’s needs, we end up too tired to tend to our own needs at 10:00 pm. Let’s face it: it was supposed to be bedtime an hour ago (that’s how exhausted we feel). Then we end up creating and watching funny videos of mom’s who, with who knows what extra time they had and where they got it from, viewing their children as burdens. And we laugh because we feel “got” in that moment: “I see you girl”. Memorizing sayings like “the days are loooooong, but the years are short”, to help us feel okay about that extra glass of wine we have tonight (in our “Go to Bed Already: It’s Wine Time” glass, no less). I understand, I used to be one of those moms. Trust me, I understand. If you fit this description, I have news for you. There is a WAY OUT of this pattern, through remembering SELF LOVE. You just forgot it along the way, between birth, puberty, that quarter-life crisis, and maybe even a mid-life crisis. Heck, it’s never too late! Yes, you likely guessed it: I’m a bit of a hippie at heart. But I also went through a MAJOR Life Change before I realized SELF LOVE was so important. I hope this gentle push can help you prevent an affair and divorce when you’re 9-month pregnant (I know – can we say HOT MESS?). So take this hippie to heart, you’ll be glad you did. What is Self Love? How is it NOT Selfish to take care of myself?
You can instead be a ROLE MODEL of remembering SELF LOVE:
Please Join Sue Daily for the 11:11 Peace On Earth Movement, where at 11:11 AM CDT we THINK PEACE for 2-3 minutes across the globe. Thoughts can include, but are not limited to, images of people holding hands, hugging loved ones, deep sensation of inner peace, feeling of love for all, war ceasing, or all of humanity being at peace. Feel free to convert your time zone from 11:11 AM CDT to your local time. Learn more @ www.peaceonearth1111.com . — Published on January 8, 2019
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 Yesterday was a big day. I witnessed so many of you getting your vote on! Waking up, excited to participating in making change happen. Thank you for doing your part, in taking action steps to create change! I now ask, can we keep this momentum going? It is in EVERY day that you can be the change. For a moment, I want you to place yourself at a large event: a crowd of some sort. Perhaps it was a concert, sporting event, rally, or a race of some kind. The energy is palpable when you are surrounded by that many people THINKING about the same thing. Cheering. Applauding. Singing. You can feel it deeply within your body. Many are moved to tears or can experience intense support for a cause. This is the same energy we felt yesterday at the polls. It is the same energy I am asking you to bring daily to THINK PEACE. When we join to think of an idea, like "I am going to vote today", you then use words to tell others and take action steps to actually vote. Many of you waited in lines for 30-90 minutes, to take this action step. Because you believe in it. Everything begins with a thought. So when we join daily to THINK PEACE, it then forms into words and actions. You will feel it yourself first. Then as more people join, even if you don't physically see them, we become the same force of energy we experience at an concert, sporting event, or rally. Across the globe, our energy unites for PEACE. I now come to you, to ask: Will you show up daily at 11:11 AM CDT to THINK PEACE? Will you take this action step daily, as a Civic Duty, to be the change in the world? In a world that needs much change, I sure hope we can begin with simple daily thoughts and watch it spread into words and actions. Think Peace! Thanks for being ONE of the 1 Billion across the globe to co-create Peace.  FOCUS ON THE OUTCOME YOU WANT TO CREATEWritten By: Sue Sexton MA Licensed Psychologist Thoughts Matter because Matter is Created from Thoughts. In simpler terms, everything begins with a thought. It's that energy that forms into words that are spoken, actions that are taken, habits that are formed which develops into your character or sense of identity, which in the long run creates your FUTURE LIFE. So, you might wonder WHY this matters for you?
I personally witness in humanity that people THINK pretty negatively. In addition, there is a lot of hardship in our day to day world. People are hurting each other. When we witness these horrible acts unfolding, it's easy to become activated into emotion and desire to take action. This is where it's important to CHOOSE your THOUGHTS, first and foremost. Because your thoughts pave the next steps for your journey ahead. In fact, many of our current activism efforts are focusing thoughts on entirely the wrong things! Yikes, right? As Dr. Wayne Dyer clearly stated "Where our thoughts go, our energy flows". So, as an example, while having good intentions, groups that fight for "gun violence, school shootings, or misogyny" to STOP, they may actually be creating MORE of exactly what they don't want. Double Yikes, right? Why is this? Well, the energy we put into our thoughts and words, reverberates into a CREATION energy. We create what we think. So if we say "no more gun violence", the universe unfortunately doesn't hear the "no" part and instead processes "more gun violence". Triple Yikes! The universe does not respond to negatives. If you think over and over "please don't die" to your elderly grandparent, they are actually more likely to die than if you thought "please live". Within humanity, we have to be careful of our words. Positive words matter. Focusing on WHAT YOU WANT TO CREATE vs. what you don't want to create, matters. Thoughts matter because matter is created from thoughts. Choose wisely. Sue Sexton Licensed Psychologist (MA), Writer, Top Wellness Public Speaker & Workshop Facilitator at Sue Sexton Psychotherapy LLC: Speaking Heart to Heart A Saint Paul, MN P 651-246-3372 E suemsexton@gmail.com W www.peaceonearth1111.com Creator of 11:11 Peace On Earth Movement Curator of humanitarian projects Water Bottle Challenge & Arts Heal Hearts "Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." - Helen Keller.  TOOLS TO HEAL HEAL DOCUMENTARY RESEARCH:
By: Kelly Noonan Gores http://www.healdocumentary.com/ Change is a delicate process. It's like the seasons that unfold around us, each having its own unique story and process. Depending on where you live, your experiences in life, and what's been modeled for you; your seasons will be incredibly different from another person's seasons. What doesn't vary so much, are the options that all humans can use to HEAL their story. I watched the documentary HEAL a few months ago and was moved by the research performed and how each human chose between 100's of healing modalities, there were overlapping modalities that really supported each participant more than the others. Here is the list they formed: * Radically Changing your Diet (Eliminate Processed Foods. Eat Whole, Organic, Raw Foods as often as possible) * Taking Control of your Health (Get in touch with your body, listen, and take informed steps towards your own health) * Following your Intuition (Listen to what "feels" right. Learning to listen to that inner voice that we all have. That "gut" feeling when you know something's right or off: It's Intuition) * Using Herbs and Supplements (Think outside the pharmaceutical box. Consult with an herbalist or holistic doctor to heal your body. Plants have been used for centuries to cure illness and support well-being. Explore this lost wisdom.) * Releasing Suppressed Emotions (Psychotherapy & movement is legit. Truth is, our body keeps the score. Every stress you've felt both physically and emotionally, is still in your cellular memory. Release this through talking and movement.) * Increasing Positive Emotions (The more we allow positive emotions to flood our body, mind, and soul, we decrease stress hormone levels. Lower stress hormones means less inflammation in our body. Less inflammation leads to less autoimmune responsiveness. Which means you are healthier holistically.) * Embracing Social Support (We need other humans. We are born with the desire and need to connect. Its part of our basic biological make up. When we accept help, our levels of stress decrease and happiness increase.) * Deepening your Spiritual Connection (Finding a method that allows you to tap into a higher source or connection with spirit. This can take many forms: there is no right or wrong. It's remembering we all come from something larger than us, and we can lean on this source for support, through prayer or meditation, in time of need) * Have a Strong Reason for Living (Wanting to live is important. What is your purpose and reason for getting up in the morning. What gives your life meaning, joy, connection, and worth. If you don't know, please begin to explore potential options) It's important to find a combination of helpful options for yourself. (Disclaimer: I am not a Medical Doctor and do not have training to offer medical advice. I am trained as a Psychologist and am Licensed to offer support and treatment for Emotional Health Conditions. Please seek out face to face consultation and treatment with a medical professional or team, who can follow your holistic well-being. Thank you.) |
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| Licensed Psychologist | Top Mental Health Speaker | Writer | Workshop Facilitator | Humanitarian: Creator of 11:11 Peace On Earth Movement & Water Bottle Challenge |
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