By: Sue Sexton, MA Licensed Psychologist
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball
If I could count on my hands how many times I was directly and indirectly called “selfish” for taking care of my needs first while growing up, I’d likely look akin to a group of jelly fish with tentacles all in motion in the great wide ocean!
We live in a society and culture that values women’s care-taking abilities. It has created a pattern of co-dependency and enmeshment that is making us exhausted (a whole new level of tired), resentful, and feeling stuck in our lives. When our focus is constantly on how to meet everyone else’s needs, we end up too tired to tend to our own needs at 10:00 pm. Let’s face it: it was supposed to be bedtime an hour ago (that’s how exhausted we feel).
Then we end up creating and watching funny videos of mom’s who, with who knows what extra time they had and where they got it from, viewing their children as burdens. And we laugh because we feel “got” in that moment: “I see you girl”. Memorizing sayings like “the days are loooooong, but the years are short”, to help us feel okay about that extra glass of wine we have tonight (in our “Go to Bed Already: It’s Wine Time” glass, no less). I understand, I used to be one of those moms. Trust me, I understand.
If you fit this description, I have news for you. There is a WAY OUT of this pattern, through remembering SELF LOVE. You just forgot it along the way, between birth, puberty, that quarter-life crisis, and maybe even a mid-life crisis. Heck, it’s never too late!
Yes, you likely guessed it: I’m a bit of a hippie at heart. But I also went through a MAJOR Life Change before I realized SELF LOVE was so important. I hope this gentle push can help you prevent an affair and divorce when you’re 9-month pregnant (I know – can we say HOT MESS?). So take this hippie to heart, you’ll be glad you did.
What is Self Love? How is it NOT Selfish to take care of myself?
You can instead be a ROLE MODEL of remembering SELF LOVE:
Please Join Sue Daily for the 11:11 Peace On Earth Movement, where at 11:11 AM CDT we THINK PEACE for 2-3 minutes across the globe. Thoughts can include, but are not limited to, images of people holding hands, hugging loved ones, deep sensation of inner peace, feeling of love for all, war ceasing, or all of humanity being at peace. Feel free to convert your time zone from 11:11 AM CDT to your local time. Learn more @ www.peaceonearth1111.com .
— Published on January 8, 2019
Hello! Sue here, ready to share a little more of what I know with the World at Large.